It is with profound sadness that we announce the passing of Digby. After an inspirational nine year battle with cancer, Digby died peacefully on Tuesday, October 4, 2011 in Victoria, British Columbia. Predeceased by his wife, Jean, in 1990; Digby is survived by his children, Christopher, Sean (Barbara) and Tamara (Kent); his grandchildren, Stephen, Ryan and Emma Clarke and Aya and Koen Laforme; brother-in-law Ian McGowan and sister-in-law Carolyn and their children John (Cathy) and Heather (Steve). Digby was a true believer in the power of education. Upon the devastating loss of his beloved Jean, Digby walked away from a successful career as a lawyer in Montreal to pursue an MA degree in Counseling at the Adler School of Professional Psychology, in Chicago. Digby then devoted his energies to the formal study of grief and loss and earned his doctorate in Thanatology. Forever committed to assisting others, Digby worked as a clinical counsellor in Victoria at BCFIT (BC Families in Transition) until the age of 80. Digby enjoyed the art of public speaking and was a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) and active member of the Oak Bay Toastmasters Club. He also had a life-long passion for cars and was a proud member of the Victoria Jaguar Club. Digby’s vigour, enthusiasm and engaging optimism touched the lives of many people. He will be deeply missed and fondly remembered by all those who knew and loved him.
A Celebration of Digby’s life will be held in MCCALL BROS. FLORAL CHAPEL, Johnson at Vancouver Streets, on Tuesday, October 11, 2011 at 12:30 pm, with Rev. Dr. Victor Scalise officiating. A reception will follow in the McCall’s Family Centre. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Victoria Hospice & Palliative Care Foundation, 1510 Fort Street Victoria, BC V8S 5J2. Condolences for the family may be offered at www.mccallbros.com
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Tom Thompson, President NOVA West Island
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Cathleen Hart What a Loving memorial tribute today to the unique and incomparable Digby — he would have loved it! Digby was an inspiration to me as he was to so many others. I will never forget him. He had a particular gift of Listening that made you feel in that time that you were the only person in the world that mattered. I will miss his wisdom, his wit, his caring heart, his martinis!
Digby did it all his way, a Bon Vivant to the end, no doubt he is shaking up the realm that he inhabits now, leaving us all the richer for knowing him, but Oh how he will be missed! But of course, he is not really gone far away at all….
“Life is eternal and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.”
~ R. W. Raymond
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Réanne Hamel I am sorry to hear of your loss…I had the pleasure of meeting Digby when he was admitted to our unit at the hospital and he was a very interesting, intelligent, kind, and lively man.
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Richard Routledge Digby is an inspiration, a powerhouse, in his profession and a true, fiercely loyal friend for anyone. In just a little over 2 years that he worked with BC Families in Transition (BCFIT), he made a large and listing impact for which we will always be grateful. All of us at BCFIT miss him and will remember him for his passionate enthusiasm for the field of thanatology, for the power of ongoing education, and for the sheer strength of his spirit which enlivened and motivated all who came near him. There will never be another Digby — what an honour and a privilege to have known him!
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Robert Rosen I worked with Digby at WBACH radio for 2 years. I can still see him with the ascot and the cowboy boots. A real beau bromel. I wrote to Tammara to tell her that Digby was on my very short “Most Remarkable Men” list. He was so intelligent but the most incredible attribute was to overcome adversity. He was an example to all that complain about the little annoyances in life.
I miss you a lot Digby
Bob
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Katarina Russell Tammy, Chris, Sean.
I know that words cannot replace, they cannot sooth right now, they will not adequately describe what a person was. Who they were for you. What need was fed. If only there were more to offer. I found your dad infinitely patient with my incessantly ignorant questions and suggestions. He was classy and wise. Brave and honest. He took time for people. He was an integral part of family gatherings, a type of light, that helped you see those around you with clarity. He made you feel like you actually had something to say, made you feel special, a gift not shared by many. I felt smarter when I talked with him. I felt privileged to know him and heartened to know the world will benefit for generations to come, because of his influence. It is always hardest for those left behind, left to reconstruct their lives, but he will never truly be gone. He lives on in the love and wisdom he shared with all of us, but no where more than with his family. I am truly sorry for your loss. Love Kat and Mark Russell
An Indian Prayer (Part V)
Great Life giving Spirit,
I face the West,
the direction of the sun down.
Let me remember every day,
that the moment will come,
when my sun will go down. Never let me forget,
that I must fade into you. Give me beautiful colour.
Give me a great sky for setting….
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Tamara Malczewska Mah I regret that I am unable to attend Digby’s memorial service today. Recently, thoughts of an old friend led to midnight inspiration, and although mere words can never be enough, I offer the following, poem:
Digby
debonair
indefatigable
lover of souls
and fast cars
man among men
portal of words
immortal
dazzling smile
sparkling wit
sartorial style
undiminished
an ideal world …
you are in it.Love to you and yours, Tamara
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Colleen & Richard Hello Tamara, Kent, Aya & Koen,
We only knew Digby for a short time but his dedication to learning and making the most of every day were an inspiration.
We wish you and your family the comfort of friends and loved ones at this time and in the days ahead.
Our thoughts are with you.Colleen & Richard
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Joyce Blond To Digby’s family
I was saddened to read of Digby’s passing. He was a helpful and sympathetic colleague when we practiced law together in Montreal and I have fond memories of that time. My deepest sympathy to his children and the rest of his family.
Joyce Blond Frank
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Penelope Ray Digby was such a survivor it is hard to imagine him no longer in physical form. I remember many long talks with him about spirituality. He saw life and humans as energy, and he wanted to live to the last drop. I know he did…
I just returned from a week’s retreat with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (Tha’y), and am only just getting to my emails. However, during one morning’s presentation, as the beloved Tha’y was talking, I saw Digby’s face imposed on his. Tha’ys shaved head was white haired, and he looked like Digby. I had the sense that there was a big shift here on earth.
Digby had a brilliant mind, a courageous heart, and an outrageous sense of humor. He loved to debate and push the envelope. He was a phenomenal cook and gardener and appreciated the finer things in life, especially when they came with four wheels! My kids are still telling stories about how he would park his car at the farthest corner of a parking lot in order to protect it from dents!
His passion for learning knew no limits, and he was devoted to helping others. Many benefited from his wisdom and caring. His email address said it all -‘digcare.’
He has made footprints on my heart. He was one of a kind and I miss him.
My heart is with all of you, and I send you my love,
Penelope
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Dan J. Sullivan It is always sad to lose a legal classmate at any time but it is particularly difficult in Digby’s case.
He was the consummate Renaissance Man. All the good qualities one would wish in a person were embodied in him.
He will be missed.
Dan J. Sullivan, QC
Westmount, QC
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Tom and Kat We met Digby in 2008 as the father (and father-in-law) of three of the kindest people we’ve ever met, Chris, Tammy and Kent. It was clear then, (and even more so now from reading these comments) that his kids are a reflection of a truly unique and compassionate personality. We feel privileged to have known him and grieve the passing of such a bright spirit, but cherish the legacy he left behind.
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Shirley Fentiman Dear Tamara and Family
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Digby was a dear friend. When he came for his hair to be done it was always a great adventure. We talked and laughed about so many different subjects. He always made my day every time he came in. He often talked very fondly of his family . I will truly miss him and he will remain in my heart forever.
Love from his friend
Shirly (hairdresser)
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Jean Daoud In 1992, Digby and I met during our first course in Adlerian therapy. During the break, I offered to share my sandwich with him. He was touched and asked me why I would offer him my lunch even though we were strangers. I explained that in our tradition, we always offer to share our food with others before we start eating. This marked the beginning of a long lasting friendship. Digby and I had great times as students and as colleagues but I cherish Digby most of all for being a very special and inspirational person. His goal is to bring hope, faith, and love to all those who are suffering and grieving. His source of happiness was seeing others recovering from their loss. He was like a role model for overcoming obstacles and I still look up to him whenever I am in difficulty. Adler says that life is movement and death itself is another form of movement. Digby in his life and in his death is perpetual movement. Therefore, for all those who knew him, Digby will remain inspirational.
Tamara, Sean, Christopher, please accept my condolences for your loss. Digby was a great father and human being and will be missed.
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Ian Clayton Dear Tamara and Kent and family,
I am so sorry for your loss. Digby was one of my favourite clients. What an individual! He was so strong in dealing with his cancer and tinnitis. He always made me laugh. He will be sorely missed.
Love, Ian Clayton.
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Joanna Hadfield Tammy, Kent and all of the family, I was so sorry to read of the passing of Digby. It is very tough to lose a parent and it is something we all go through. It is a very difficult thing and I wish you well with the grieving that must go on. Take good care of yourselves, Jo Hadfield
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Donald Breackell Deepest sympathies from Don Breackell, a friend from afar, a fellow fraternity brother of Lambda Chi Alpha at McGill University where, even then, he was an inspiration to us all.
Although we lived in opposite ends of the world – I in Capetown, South Africa, he in Victoria, B.C. – over the past few years I was able to re-connect with Digby via e-mails and a few telephone conversations.
He will remain in my thoughts and remembered in brotherhood, always. May he rest in peace.
My sincere condolences to his family and loved ones.
Don Breackell
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George and Dianne Laforme Chris, Tammy and Sean
We miss Digby and know that without him and his strong presence our “west coast” family feels incomplete.We are all grieving the loss of your father and our friend.
We met Digby nine years ago when he moved to be closer to his family. He wanted to be closer to his son Sean, who he was very proud of, Sean’s wife, Barb and his grand children,Stephen, Ryan and Emma, and to his daughter Tammy, his confidant , who he shared so much without reservation.
The first serious discussion we had with Digby centered around how he hoped to convince his son Chris, who was living in Montreal, to move to Victoria. He loved him, was concerned for his well being, and wanted him closer.
Like most problems Digby tried to solve, he was successful, and soon Chris moved from Montreal to Victoria and became an integral part of our “west coast” family.
We shared memorable times together,the birth of two grandchildren,
Aya and Koen , seeing his daughter become a wonderful Mother, Sunday dinners which Digby treasured, always arriving in his just polished Jaguar with a bottle of wine. He would shake hands with Cliff and I because it was the right thing to do and hug Dianne. We remember each of those many dinners and get togethers fondly. We will miss him terribly.
We only knew your father for a short time but marveled at his energy, his love of life, his youthful outlook and of course, his accomplishments. Whether it was practicing law, working in radio, pursuing his masters and his doctorate in Thanatology or helping and counseling those in need at the Families In Transition center here in Victoria. He did it his way.
He was a dear friend and a partner in our” family” journey and we will miss him.
Unfortunately, we did not know Jean but through Tammy and Chris and Digby we felt her presence, her caring, her gentleness, her sense of family. At the beginning of many shared occasions, Digby would raise his glass to “absent members”.
We are richer for knowing him and honored to call him our friend.
With Love,
George and Dianne
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Colleen & Richard Tamara, Kent, Aya & Koen,
Although we only knew Digby briefly, we were very impressed by his keen mind and commitment to making the most of everyday. His passion for learning and commitment to being productive were a wonderful example for us all.
We hope that your many happy memories of Digby and Jean bring you comfort in the days ahead.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.Colleen & Rick
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Bill Gagnon Dear Clarke Family,
I had the pleasure of working with Digby for a couple of years as one of the four original members of Canadair Limited’s legal team. I certainly remember his affection for English sports cars and the sometimes heated discussions with another member of our office who was a Citroen enthusiast. Neither car, of course, was suitable for our Montreal winters, but who could tell him that?
We stayed in contact after he left to set up his practice, but then my career led me to a long stay in Europe and we lost touch.
I am very happy to have known Digby and glad to read about his rewarding career of service. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and my best wishes to all of you.
Sincerely
Bill Gagnon
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Bill Whitten i will always remember the day Digby came into my office to interview for a sales job at WBACH radio. He had an ascot (of course) and was as pompous as only he could be, and of course, I ended up hiring him and the next two years were atrue delight for me as his “manager”, which was a joke! He was the most intelligent, wise carting person I have had the honor of knowing. He certainly taught me a great deal about life and people. He lived well. I miss him…..
BW
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Dan J. Sullivan The loss of a legal classmate is always painful and more particularly after knowing one for over 50 years.
His own sad loss was converted into continuing to help others.
To his personal family permit me to send my sincere sympathies.
He will be well remembered across the country.
May he rest in peace.
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Jill den Hertog Digby was a fighter and a realist. When the going got tough he rolled up his sleeves, and when things looked their bleakest he could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
He was a wise man and a good friend of my husband’s and mine for many years.
He loved life, cars, challenges but above all, Jean.
He devoted the last years of his life to helping others.
Digby made a difference, and he will be sorely missed.
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John Sherber I am sitting in the Hotel Belleclaire in NY city, a place where Digby and Tamara used to visit, a place he suggested I stay. All I can think of is how much I will miss the man who became a valued friend, confidant and teacher. Digby was a communicator and that is how I met him, at Toastmasters. At our first meeting I remember saying to myself,”oh my goodness who the heck is this guy”. Digby always told it like it was but he was also able to listen, advise and support you. I have learned so much from the man of so many skill sets that I will always take his legacy with me everyday of my life. Thank you Digby for being you and allowing me to share the time we spent together. That voice and advice will live with me until my time comes.
Love,
John
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Clive & Barbara Allen Christopher, Sean & Tamara:
Barbara and I were deeply saddened to learn of the passing of Digby, a treasured friend for over half a century. Always full of energy, always caring for others, alway possessed of a great sense of humour, always young at heart, Digby was a very special person.
The loss of Jean was truly devastating, especially as she was someone so gracious, lively and vivacious and in the prime of life. But to Digby’s credit, he “soldiered on.” And in so doing, his compassion came to the fore as he left the practice of law to assist others in very unique way. I know many will have benefited from his committment to those grieving the loss of a loved one.
Barbara and I will miss him but will always retain wonderful memories of times gone by. Our sincerest condolences to his family at this time of great sorrow,
The Board of Directors of NOVA West Island express our deepest sympathy to the family of Digby Clark. Digby was on the Board of NOVA (formerly VON) for several years and as such made a valuable contribution to the community of West Island Montreal.
It it interesting to note that he changed career directions to counselling in that in addition to palliative care, part of our mandate is grief and bereavement counselling to children and adults who have lost a loved one or who are living through a terminal illness.
I’m sure he will be missed.
Tom Thompson
President, NOVA West Island
Beaconsfield, Quebec