Well, Dad, after all these years of you looking at the obituaries and jokingly saying you’re not there yet your turn has now arrived, but we weren’t ready.
Dad passed away at Victoria General Hospital after suffering a very sudden and catastrophic medical emergency. Dad held on for 5 days until we were with Mom at her care home instead of at his bedside. I’m sure he had that planned. It was his way of making sure we will fulfill our promise to always look after Mom. Dad was born in Ottawa, Ontario to Gladys and Patrick Pender and was the oldest of 5 siblings. Predeceased by both his parents, and brothers Brian and Earl, he leaves to mourn his loss his wife Donna of 55 years; daughter Elizabeth (Ron) of Victoria; son Gene (Lisa) and grandsons Declan and Liam of Sidney; sister Joan Beaton (Ken) of Ottawa; and brother Ted (Theresa) of Ottawa; sister-in-law Kim Pender of Ottawa; and sisters-in-law Lorna Morcombe, Sylvia Elias and Gail Rab all of Ottawa; as well as many nieces and nephews on both sides of the extended family. Over the years, even through distance or disagreements with his siblings or family may have happened, Dad took his job as the oldest very seriously. Sometimes he had a funny way of showing it, but Joan and Ted please know that Dad has always loved you, as well as Earl and Brian. Dad also leaves to mourn his passing many, many long-time dear friends; old friends who became new friends again; amazing neighbours; and new friends Dad would meet on his many walks around the neighbourhood.
Dad attended St. Pat’s Catholic School in Lower Town Ottawa (where he met his long-time friend Paul Bourke) and then on to Lisgar Collegiate also with Paul. Dad would always talk about having to bob and weave his way to school through the French gang neighbourhoods of Lower Town to get there. Sounded like quite the rough part of town.
After graduating, and a few years later, Dad came west to B.C. in 1966 after Paul (who already came here in 1965) talked about how beautiful it was. Dad instantly fell in love with it. And I’m so glad he did. I love it here too. Paul, Dad and Brian McLean got an apartment together in Burnaby, but then Paul bought a house at 750 Boundary Road, so they all moved there. I think Dad drew the short straw (no pun intended) and he ended up getting the room in the basement close to the furnace with the odd rat to keep him company at night. It was through Paul and the rest of the “750 Gang” that Dad made lifelong friends including Ray, Brian and Mike – just to name a few. He attended Simon Fraser University but keep in mind that SFU was still a fairly new university then, and Dad would tell you that the entry requirements weren’t that high at the time which is the only reason why he got in. He went there with the goal of getting his English degree, but didn’t complete it until many years later because he got itchy feet and decided to take a job in Medicine Hat Alberta as a journalist in 1968/69. This is where he met Mom, the love of his life. They were introduced by mutual friends over a tennis match, and Dad lost badly to Mom. He threw his racquet, but Mom ended up marrying him anyway.
Dad’s journalism career took off which took them all across this great country of ours before firmly putting down roots in Victoria in 1981. Dad worked for many papers including Medicine Hat News, Saskatoon Star Phoenix, Fredericton Gleaner, Edmonton Journal, Ottawa Citizen, Victoria Colonist, Canadian Press, then Victoria Times Colonist. After leaving journalism, Dad became a public relations officer for the government and eventually opened up his own consulting business.
Dad will always be remembered for his quick wit, one-liners and, sometimes, black humour which always put a smile on people’s faces. Dad would always come up to me and ask me to pull his finger, and I’d fall for it every time. He loved the outdoors, hiking, gardening, and in his earlier years, skiing. It was because of you, Dad, that I learned how to ski. Dad was also an amazing cook who was always trying to make something different and fancy – like a terrine – to feed friends and family. I am forever grateful for getting Dad to teach me how to make one of his terrines this past Christmas. Thanks Dad.
Rest now and be at peace. We love you Dad/Doug/Uncle Doug/Pop/Rocky.
The family would also like to thank the BC Ambulance Paramedics, VGH emergency room doctors and nurses, and the nurses on 6C North for all your care and compassion for Dad, and us as a family, during this very difficult time.
A Memorial service was held in the Sequoia Centre at McCall Gardens, 4665 Falaise Drive, Victoria, BC on Friday, January 26, 2024 at 2:00 pm.
To view the service please click the video below:
Tribute Slideshow:
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
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Maria Butler
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Jeff and Sheryl St Gelais (former neighbours on Bow Road) We were very sad to hear that Doug has passed away. We used to live two houses up from Doug and Donna on Bow Road in Victoria (but we moved 1 1/2 yrs ago). We always thought of Doug as being a very pleasant neighbour who was always very helpful and insightful. He once loaned us his log splitter when we took a tree down in our yard. When his log splitter wasn’t strong enough, he loaned us his vehicle (because it had a hitch), so we could pick up a larger splitter from the nearby rental shop. He and Donna were always so friendly. We miss them!
Thanks for posting the slide show. We enjoyed watching it! Our condolences to your family.
Jeff and Sheryl St Gelais
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Grant and Susan Konopaki Uncle Doug, you left us far too early. I will miss our regular talks and laughs. It was so hard to say goodbye, but your day was filled with love and special memories. Rest well now, you are safe in the arms of Jesus and this is why I know I will see you again.
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Armand Guillemette Liz, Ron,
I was quite saddened when Cathy told me of Doug’s hospitalization, then sudden passing. In this light, it is with a heavy heart that I write this note.
I did not know Doug well, but the man that I got to know, especially in the last few years, was kind, soft-spoken, and thoughtful. He liked to chat, and was never afraid to debate delicate subjects. That was probably the journalist in him, always curious and inquisitive.
When we were together, I was always struck by the deep love and caring he showed your mother, even in the last few years when times became more difficult.
Liz, your tribute is beautiful. It shows a loving man, husband, father, and grandfather. He will be missed.
My heart and prayers are with you and your family.
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Brian MacLean, Debbie Gibson To Donna and family, we send our deepest condolences.
Rocky (Doug) was a great house mate way back when at 750 North Boundary Road while at S.F.U.
A deeply caring, happy soul and wonderful friend.
He will be sadly missed and not forgotten by many.
A bright light extinguished on earth but we will look to the skies my friend.
Special thanks to caring friends Paul,Christine and Ray.Sending a photo along taken of Doug and Donna’s last visit to Ottawa.
Always in our hearts
Brian and Debbie
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Lisa Ridgway Alec and I had the fortune to meet Donna and Doug when we moved from Pender Island to Bow Road in 2017. I remember Doug bringing his grandchildren to our door that Halloween and introducing himself. Of course I laughed at the coincidence of his surname! We met Donna soon afterwards and thats when we knew we had moved to a great neighbourhood. Doug and Donna always had time for a chat when we were outside working in our garden and it was always a pleasure to stop and talk when we met them on their daily walks. Doug was funny and smart and really cared when he asked “…how are you?”. He always had a kind word for our enthusiastic labrador dog and even brought dog biscuits to slip her on the sly! Such a gentleman and such a good neighbour. We will miss you Doug and our heartfelt sympathy to your family and especially to Donna.
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Jerri Lynn Sarson Glad I was able to visit with you & have a little chat catching up with everything! Just heard about you while walking through the our subdivision from Marilyn. We both had a little chat with you on Bow road days ago. I always looked at your house while walking Frankie from the duck pond to Bow road.
Donna was the nurse at the CCSL when I started volunteering.
XOOX
Jerri Lynn
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Perkins Family Our sincere condolences to all the family. Many happy memories with your family from days in Edmonton and Victoria.
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Greg Perkins Sorry to hear about this, it was quite unexpected. My condolences to all of you.
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Patrick Bourke Doug was a close and always present family friend. He and Donna regularly welcomed me into their home when my father had to travel abroad for work. I have very fond memories of incredible food, wide ranging conversations and unconditional support. Whatever a person needed, Doug was always there. We also had a lot of laughs, about things like how I drank too much orange juice before dinner, our height differential and my terrible report cards. The other thing that stands out is how incredibly strong and steadfast his love of Donna was. You don’t come across many people like Doug in your life and I’m incredibly grateful for the time we had together. I send my deepest condolences to Liz and Gene, and the rest of the Pender family in this challenging time.
Patrick Bourke
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Helen Merritt I formed a quick friendship with Doug upon meeting he and Donna last Oct. and felt the same after meeting Liz and Ron. My heart is heavy for your loss, as that is what it is.
Please take some comfort that Brian and I will take special care of Donna whenever we can.
Wrap yourselves in hugs.
Helen and Brian Merritt
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Rosemary Nygard Liz, beautiful recounting of his life. Your dad would be proud. So glad to have known him. Thinking of all of you. Lots of love xo
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Wendie Refreshing bio – a storied life lived… in its telling, I recognize in Ms. Liz an apple that hasn’t fallen far from the tree.
Rest in Peace Mr Pender, Liz and Co can take it from here.
With deepest sympathy to your family at your untimely loss.
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Judy Spearing My sincere sympathy for Doug and Donna’s family. I met Donna and Doug in 2007 when Donna joined our neighbourhood volunteer group to work in our lovely local parks. Over the years, we spent many enjoyable hours working together, along with other neighbours. Doug would happen by on his walks and we’d all stop to chat with him. Even though Donna retired from park work a few years ago I would still see her out walking with Doug and we’d always stop and have a visit. Very sad to learn of Doug’s passing. Good people. Good neighbours.
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Judy Spearing My sincere sympathy for Doug and Donna’s family. I met Donna and Doug in 2007 when Donna joined our neighbourhood volunteer group to work in our lovely local parks. Over the years, we spent many enjoyable hours working together, along with other neighbours. Doug would happen by on his walks and we’d all stop to chat with him. Even though Donna retired from park work a few years ago I would still see them her out walking with Doug and we’d always stop and have a visit. Very sad to learn of Doug’s passing. Good people. Good neighbours.
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Shirlene, James and Sean Pinilla/ McGovern Deepest love, sympathy and heartfelt condolences to Donna, Liz & Ron, Gene & family, extended family and all the rest of us, for the profound and sudden loss of the wonderful Dad, husband, uncle, brother, neighbour, dear friend of four decades and all around great guy, “Doug”. We will deeply miss his sharp, witty humour, wry grin and unmatched generosity and hospitality. Most missed will be sharing the many passionate discussions over his and Donna’s gourmet dinners about how to better the world. He had a towering and compassionate intellect wrapped up in an edgy journalist’s news bite. (I know he’s somewhere making a sarcastic quip about this description!). Most importantly, he was a devoted husband, father and grandfather. The world has lost a very special beacon of light & goodness. Rest in peace, dear friend.
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Jos and Donna Our sincere condolences to you, Liz and Ron. Doug’s sudden death is a shock and a lesson that life is fragile… but wondrous as well that any of us are ever here at all. We valued getting to know Doug and Donna in the post-journalist years, to work with Doug and share a realistic, rational, if occasionally cynical, world view, leavened as it was with a keen sense of humour.
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Paul Bourke and Christine Becher We are so sad over the sudden loss of Doug, long time friend to Paul and always good to Christine.
Our deepest condolences to Liz and Ron, Gene and Lisa, and to Doug’s sister, Joan and brother, Ted and all the family.
Much love and hugs
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Leslie & Steve Carter Our deepest condolences Liz & Ron. Sending healing prayers and warm comforting hugs.
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George Dufour My sincere condolences to you and your family Liz.
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Wade Paul Thanks for sharing part of your dad’s life story. So sorry for your loss, I love the sense of humour part, now I know where Liz gets it. Hugs to your family. 🙂
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Andrea Generoux-Meader and Family. Our sincerest condolences Liz and Ron, Gene and Lisa, as well as Declan and Liam.
Uncle Doug was witty and reserved, thoughtful and kind, and always himself.
We will miss him and will always admire his tenacious and persistent care for Aunt Donna.
Jesus said ” …I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live”.
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Austin Generoux Will miss you Uncle Doug.
Much love to Aunt Donna, Liz and Ron, Gene and his family. May you know God’s comfort and turn your eyes to Jesus, our hope in Glory.
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Cathy Coghlan Liz and Ron, my heart is broken for you. I never thought that Christmas would be the last time I would ever speak to your Dad. I have so many wonderful memories visiting your Mom and Dad over the years. I really appreciated it when they took in Logan when he was visiting in Victoria. Just know that Logan and I feel your saddness. Love Cathy and Logan. xxoo
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Bev Pick Tears of grief are the jewels of memories shared. My sincere condolences to you Liz, and to your Dad’s loved ones. Big hugs.
We will greatly miss a very special friend. We first got to know Doug and Donna when our son was 3 years old, and Donna volunteered at a church playgroup we attended. Doug and Donna quickly became close family friends and developed a wonderful grandparent type relationship with our son and daughter – attending school concerts, playing games and reading together, doing art projects, feeding the ducks, and taking the children on outings each week and during the school holidays. They so enjoyed these wonderful times with Donna and Doug, and we believe Donna and Doug felt the same way. My husband and I enjoyed many teas, lunches, and dinners with Doug, Donna and the children, pleasant walks in the local neighbourhoods, and we had many great conversations. We will always deeply treasure their friendship. Our lives are richer for having known them, and we are forever grateful for their kindness and love. Rest in peace Doug. We will always remember you.
The Butler Family