Sybil Edith Elizabeth Butterfield (née Agnew) left the party after lunch on July 29 to be with husband James, daughter Joy, and baby Robin. To say the mould was broken after Sybil was born is a mistake; there was no mould. The phrase “never a dull moment” was coined to describe her life. If things got dull, there was something wrong, and she’d find a way to liven things up. The only time she stopped was for tea, preferably with a sticky bun and the newspaper. Her life was her children, and their children, and James, the ballast that kept her steady. Her passions included music (she was president of the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival for several years); the Maritime Museum of BC, whose search for a new home was close to her heart; and good form (no hats indoors, shoes polished, etc.). A lifelong member of the Anglican Church, she was also a fatalist: “willy-nilly” closed many complicated conversations—or, more simply, “Let’s change the subject.”
Born in Blackheath, UK, in 1927 while her father, Donald, was on a gunnery course at Woolwich, she came back to Canada with her parents in 1928. Her childhood years were spent in army camps around the country: Shiloh, Gagetown, and Kingston, where Donald became commandant of the Royal Military College after the war. She was in residence at St. Hilda’s College at the University of Toronto, when she met James, who conveniently lived next door at Trinity College. Their adventure together really began when they married in April 1950, James having been given a commission in the navy, thus an income. Four children—Christopher, Joy, Philip, and Peter appeared (as she would say). And then one more: Benjamin. The family moved to Victoria for James’s final naval posting in 1965, and this was to be her home for the rest of her life.
Sybil spent many years as a teacher, at Halifax School for the Blind, Halifax Ladies College, Cedar Lodge (Skeleem Village Recovery Centre) in Cobble Hill, Camosun College, and Norfolk House School, among others. Her longest stint was at Belmont Secondary School in Langford, where she taught French to a generation of students. Nothing had prepared them for the discipline she used as the only way to keep order (as she saw it). We could go on . . . and so she did, self-publishing her memoir, “A Soldier’s Daughter,” in December 2022.
Sybil is predeceased by her parents Donald and Blossom Agnew, sister Patricia, brother John, husband James, infant daughter Robin, and daughter Joy and her husband Stefano. The party continues with sons Christopher (Merrie-Ellen Wilcox), Philip (Tracy O’Hara), Peter (Gurdeep Stephens), and Benjamin (Anne Grimm); grandchildren Marco and Sarah, Oonagh and Harry, Rosanna and Felix (mother Sarah Fryer), Claire and Julian, Robin and Marijn; and great-grandchildren Chloe, Olivia, and Thomas; Enzo, Matteo, and Stefano; and Lyra.
The family would like to thank Dr. Ted Rosenberg; the staff at Parkwood Place, especially Jason and Renée, for their caring support during the two years Sybil lived there; and to the marvellous staff at Sunrise Senior Living, too many to thank here, for making Mum comfortable in her last months.
A Celebration of Life will be held at Christ Church Cathedral, 930 Burdett Avenue, Victoria, BC on Tuesday, August 15, 2023, at 11:00 am.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Maritime Museum of British Columbia.
Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
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Margaret Carpenter Arnett
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Terry Pitt-Brooke I can’t claim more than a few conversations with Syb and Jim (great reget, there) but from the first moment, it was clear she was a classic–one of a kind. Each one of us owes something to this great mother, teacher, community leader. And one of the last of the generation brought up in the depression, experiencing and surviving the second World War, and rebuilding the world afterwards. Still, Sybil’s family carries her standard with distinction.
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Lynda Pitt-Brooke To the Butterfield family,
Ah yes, the triumphant solar centre of your family. How this gorgeous force of nature will be missed! And, oh, those splendid parties: salmon baking in the fireplaces, music harking from every corner, Tea With Baby, Drinks and Nibbles, followed by Freeforall. Always, Sybil front and centre, conducting all. What a privilege to have know her, to have danced in her light. I loved James and Sybil madly and deeply.
With condolences to all who will miss them as much as I,
Lynda Pitt-Brooke
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Denise Neigel Denise Neigel
Dear Claire and the Butterfield family, My deepest condolences on the families loss of Sybil. While I never knew her, from the beautiful tribute she seemed to be a very special individual who walked to the beat of her own drum and who was deeply loved by her family. As someone said she has left the party, but remember the Party never ends! She has probably already created a heavenly “ripper” as she waits for you all to join her some day. Until then may happy memories of her bring you comfort and continue to beat in your hearts!
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Tibby Solloway Dear Christopher, Peter and Benjamin,
So very sorry to learn that Sybil left the pary here.
A truly sad day for everyone that she touched and the overwhelming memories she left for us all. Now a new party has started with James, Joy and Stefano, and what a party it will be.
Thinking of you all today.
Doug and Tibby (Gladwell) Solloway
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Barry Rolston To the Butterfield family,
Goodness, a wonderful era has closed. Sybil brought much enthusiasm, life, and care for many topics and issues and we are all the better for that. She always had an thoughtful opinion and it was to be definitely to be reckoned with. We will miss her participation in the Maritime Museum and the Thermopylae Club.
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John Pitt-Brooke Dear Butterfields
I write as a Butterfield myself – my grandmother was Phoebe Butterfield who married Jack Pitt-Brooke a century or more ago. Their son Reg (my father) was James Butterfield’s cousin, and both of them became passionate and lifelong seafarers, I think they both served in Canadian Pacific ships in 1939 – 45 and both were attacked at sea and lucky to escape.
Growing up in England the Butterfields were always in our family conversation, these larger than life characters thousands of miles away, and when I first met them on a visit to Canada in 1970 I was not disappointed. I remember particularly going to see one of the children singing in a concert in Butchart Gardens, but more than that I remember my first visit to the house in Victoria – that atmosphere of constructive creative noisy busyness was quite something. I was a young man then and I remember thinking “one day I might find someone and create a family and have a home like this!” (it is not really for me to say but I think that maybe I have done that!) And at the heart of everything was Syb, so deeply memorable – very much in charge, energetic, positive, curious, full of opinions, fiercely proud of her children; very much a seafarer’s wife (like my mother); and of course one of the most “English” people I ever met!
We kept in touch and in 2011 I was privileged to go as Syb’s guest to the Canadian High Commission in London to an event to commemorate those serving on Atlantic convoys in the war. A model of a corvette was presented for display and I think James’s name was inscribed on the side. There were speeches about The bravery of those extraordinary men (very few who were by then still with us – James had died a couple of years previously.) I remember well Syb’s pride that night, her sense that James had been properly recognized, and also later that evening hearing something from her of her sons’ achievements in the world of music.
Finally my wife and I returned to that same house a few years ago – Syb by then less strong but still burning bright – So although I only met her a few times over many decades I am so pleased to have known her.
John P-B
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Andrew Sabiston Dearest and treasured Butterfields, spouses, children and extended family of Sybie most rare.
What an incredible celestial force you all orbited. She warmed, she illuminated, and she most definitely held you fast with a guiding force and constant, powerful presence second to none. ‘Mrs. Butterfield’ was how I knew her in the beginning. A Grade 8 lunch invitation to my new friend Benjamin’s home, (a short walk from our school) started with being handed a broom by his whirlwind Mum, swiftly marshalling the three of us into action with clear, quick commands to bring the kitchen to cozy order before sitting down to lunch. Tortellini! A new discovery for me that instantly became a lifelong favorite… Just like you, Ben, your family, and your incredible, original, powerhouse Mum. Graduating to call Mrs. Butterfield ‘Sybil’ and then ‘Sybie’ a few years later felt like being progressively admitted into the very inner sanctum of friendship. I count myself blessed to have known Sybie as a friend alongside our friendship, Ben, all these many years. Both she and your dear dad James where towering figures in my life. I do and will forever miss them greatly. But what incredible, celestial forces all you Butterfields, in your own rights, Sybie and James have left to shine so brightly. As her obituary says, the party most definitely continues for all of us in your orbits. Stephanie and Oliver join me in sending our heartfelt condolences. We will be thinking of you all on August 15, 11am Victoria time.
Andrew, Stephanie and Oliver
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Patricia Kerridge To Benjamin, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I met Sybil only once, when I was riding with you in the back seat of a car that carried Sybil and Naomi Henshaw in the front seats–long story. For us to not meet again was surely my loss. However, I did keep in touch with you during your McGill days and, by all accounts, Sybil was a very special character and will be sorely missed. I hope you and the rest of the family may find peace and comfort in your time of sorrow.
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Perry Foster and Theresa Palmer Dear Ben, Chris and Butterfield Family.
We are sorry to hear of the passing of your dear mother.
She was truly a character and she leaves a wonderful legacy of dedication to the Victoria arts community.
Thinking of your family at this sad time.
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Kimberlay Pearce I served on the GVPAF board with Sybil for a number of years and was always moved by her passion for, and commitment to bringing the talents of those young students to a broader audience. Boundless, cheerful energy. I had the privilege of occasional visits in her home and knew that I was in a place where people truly lived – comfortable, casual, personal, artistic.
So very sorry for your loss.
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Nathaniel Watson The loss of Sybil is truly the end of an era! I am very blessed to have known her, and the whole Butterfield clan. Life is both very long and very short. Warmest condolences to Christopher, Philip, Pete and Benj, and all the rest. May Light Eternal shine upon her, James and Joy and Stefano.
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Jane Agnew Condolences to the generations of Butterfields on behalf of the generations of Agnews born to Sybil‘s brother, John Agnew.
Aunt Sybil can best be remembered for her total uniqueness, indomitable spirit deterred by nothing, perpetual energy for living life to the fullest, ability to engage anyone, positive outlook on everything, and her ability to see the humour in things, be they good or bad. Clearly demonstrated in her book, is her unswerving devotion to family and unparalleled storytelling ability. (Many “entertaining” stories recalled are somehow not included.)
In her last decade, my husband and I were fortunate to have Aunt Sybil spend a week with us in Ottawa when she flew in specially to see Jeff receive a prestigious military award. She regaled us for hours, as she customarily did with our family, recounting her many experiences over the years. We were also kept hopping with her busy itinerary which totally wore us out while she looked for more adventures to include in her repertoire. In the somewhat distant past, Uncle James confessed that he often washed the same dishes five times over to escape the deluge of activity created by Aunt Sybil and the children (as well as the plethora of ever present houseguests).
“Flights of angels sing thee to thy rest “ dear Aunt Sybil
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James Boutilier What a woman. She was indefatigable and bore down on you–in the nicest possible way–like a 104 gun ship of the line. Her enthusiasm was inexhaustible and she loved to engage you in fascinating conversations which were half cross-examination and half exchange of news. She was an iconic figure and will be most deeply missed.
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Daphne Goode Dear family of dynamic Sybil….my deepest condolences to all of you at the passing of your amazing matriarch. I worked alongside Sybil on various projects over decades, and witnessed her complete devotion to so many causes, especially her beloved Maritime Museum of BC. While she and myself were on different sides of a discussion sometimes, I smiled when I read the “change the subject” line…I was definitely put in my place diplomatically a few times! I always enjoyed Sybil’s very thoughtful input at our MMBC meetings where she offered helpful advice and poignant questions. Most of all, whenever I saw her, including at many arts events, she would absolutely glow when speaking of her family..she was so very proud of her children, their partners, grandchildren and others in the family circle. May you enjoy everlasting memories to ease the burden of Sybil’s passing. Sent with love.
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Greg Marchand What a wonderful tribute to an extraordinary woman. Out deepest condolences to the extended Butterfield family.
Greg and Debbie Marchand
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Hanna Bendtsen Kynaston Dear Peter and Benjamin,
My most sincere condolences to you and your whole family.
Sybil had a long and well lived life and once told me with pride that she had produced four tenors.
Well done Sybil!
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Hanna Bendtsen Kynaston Dear Peter and Benjamin,
My most sincere condolences to you and your whole family. Sybil had a long and well lived life and once told me with great pride that she had produced four tenors. Well done Sybil!
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Hugh Ruthven How can you love someone and be slightly terrified of them at the same time? Great, great memories of a wonderful woman and loving mother. Truly an exceptional individual who lead a remarkable family that is very much her legacy.
We will all miss her spirit, her passion for life and her ferocious wit.
Love to all the family from The ‘Rivs’
Hugh Ruthven
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Cathy Lavoie I had the great pleasure of working with Sybil at Belmont. Even all of these decades later, I remember her immense joie de vivre, which infected everyone around her. She opened her home to exchange teachers from Quebec, and it was a mark of her kindness, warmth and generosity that they enjoyed the visit so much that they returned to visit her again the next year.
I could tell how much she adored her family and how very proud she was of all of you. My deepest sympathy on the passing of an unforgettable woman. I feel grateful to have known her.
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David & Jacquie Collins Dear Christopher, Philip, Peter and Benjamin and families
So sorry to know that Sybil is no longer with us. We enjoyed her presence at Christ Church and the Naval Association. She was always great fun and lived life fully pretty much to the end. We joked about our experiences at the Halfax Ladies College, Sybil as a teacher and me in kindergarten! Our deepest condolences.
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Teresa Ejsmont Dear Peter and Family, no matter how old we are, it’s never easy to lose a parent. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve.
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Marion Willemsen I had the honour of living with Sybil in 2020. She was an amazing woman with an indomitable spirit. Her family was just as remarkable as she was. Her stories about her life were colourful and daring. We shared a love of good food and ‘The Crown’ on Netflix – (with an occasional G & T.) We both lacked filters and had many interesting conversations! She made me smile. She had a big impact on all who knew her. We are all richer for having known her.
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Kate Miller Dear Ben, Peter, and Felix,
Deepest condolences on the loss of your beautiful mum.
Sybil was a very special person and we are saddened by her death. She will always be with you. With love, Kate and Rob.
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Hélène In 2019 I came to take singing lessons with Benjamin and stayed with Sybil for 2 weeks. It’s a very precious memory. I was both fascinated and intimidated by this woman with such a rich and passionate background. She seemed to be guided by profound values. My English was a little shaky at the time, so she made some effort to converse in French. We cooked a little together, and especially when it was tea time, never be late! I feel honored to have lived under your roof dear Sybil, au revoir.
Hélène Picard
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Souzann McMillan Souzann MCMillan
It is with great sadness that we heard of Sybil’s passing. She was a dedicated supporter of the Arts. We in Speech knew we could always count on her support. Always a good friend and committed colleague. We will miss you dear Sybil.
The Speech Arts Victoria team.
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Peter O'Hara Dearest Philip, Tracy and Butterfield clan,
“Sybbie” was indeed one-of-a-kind, spending most of her life with a sturdy hand on the family wheel … truly a stalwart supporter of her kith and kin. Yours is a fitting and beautiful tribute to a tireless individual, who gave so much to so many. She will be missed but never forgotten.
Rest in peace Sybil with Joy, Robin and of course James by your side.
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Carolyn Graham Dearest Ben and the Butterfield Family, sending hugs to all of you and cherished memories of your dear mum. Always full of life, warmth and fun, she had a sparkle in her eye and profound love for her family. Her admiration of music and values of being together with family and friends shared joy with so many. Sybil attended and supported so many musical endeavours. I also remember enjoying tea with her in your parents lovely back garden many years ago. Sybil’s strong and monumental legacy will continue to shine in all of you.
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Jennifer McKay-Sidhu Our visits over tea will be missed. As my boys plunked away at the piano she would say “I think this one is musical Jenni!” She was such an incredible woman who taught us all about the importance of family, good friends and staying connected to your community and the world. Our love to all Sybil’s family as you celebrate a life that brought so much light into all of our lives…We will keep her spirit with us.
Love from the McKay Family
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Valerie Kuehne Dear Peter, Benjamin and Christopher,
I heard of your mother long before meeting her and in our first encounter at a VPC concert, she was every bit as engaging and spirited as I anticipated! What a legacy she leaves through each of you and your families! Her gifts to the communities in which she found herself are also deep, wide, and intergenerational. She was a truly remarkable woman who touched so many. My thoughts are with you.
Valerie
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Ravi Chopra & Dhanwanti Manwani We’d like to express our sincere condolences to you and your family. Thinking of you and wishing you strength and comfort.
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Janny en Johan Grimm There is a saying that everybody is unique but some are more unique than others. Undoubted for us Sybil belongs to the last category. We will never forget our contacts with her since 2002.
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Bill Murphy-Dyson A life well-lived, Sybil! Well done.
A force to be reckoned with from the time I first met her in the choir in 1965. Like another Mum.
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Claudia Rusconi I have fond memories of Sybil and of the wonderful summer I spent in Victoria at the Butterfield’s. This woman had miraculous energy and contagious love for life. She has been the pillar of a gorgeous family and we really admired her. We Rusconi’s from Florence hug her sons Christopher, Philip, Peter Benjamin and their families with love and affection
Sybil rest in peace with your beloved James and Joy, you will be always in our hearts ❤️
Claudia e Fabio, Carlo, Anna
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Annelies Dear Butterfields in all your generations
What a perfect send-off for an amazing, unforgettable and legendary personage. Having first met her in 1985, I have an array of remarkable — truly one of a kind incidents and conversations playing in my head; the merest inkling of how it might be for you.
While every individual is unique, Sybie somehow managed to telegraph her individuality with every facet of her being. I believe she has passed on that capacity, mutatis mutandis to each one of you it has been my pleasure to know. It seems safe to say it is a heritable characteristic, a wonderful legacy.
Our heartfelt condolences
Annelies Orestes and Leander
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Keefer Pollard Truly, she was an amazing woman. May her memory continue to inspire us. I will always be grateful for her work with the Victoria Performing Arts Festival and association with the Victoria Philharmonic Choir.
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Lori Simek My deepest condolences to Kristafor, Philip, Peter, Benjamin, and all the family . Sybil was an extraordinary woman devoted to her family, powered by an Everready battery indefatigable. No one could work harder or longer, or to better effect; no one could resist her call to action. Unafraid and adventurous, definitely her fathers daughter, Sybil was a banquet for those with a taste for character, strength, kindness, integrity and good humour. A great friend, caring and full of wit and good counsel. We shall not see her like again.
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Carol Brown I met Sybil 25 years ago when she enlisted me into the Greater Victoria Performing Arts Festival, along with armies of other helping hands she recruited who contributed to its success under her leadership. She always seemed to me like a mother goose, with retinues of volunteer goslings happily following in her wake everywhere she led. Whether leading a board meeting or turning her hand to some menial task, there was always laughter! She inspired and lifted everyone’s spirit, and after this moment of profound sadness, I know every memory I have of her will continue to lift mine.
To all Sybil’s family, her finest legacy, my condolences and admiration.
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Diksha Dear Peter and Gurdeep,
We are very sorry to hear this sad news and our deepest condolences to both of you and the family.
It was a privilege to meet Peters’s mom this year for the very first time and have a lovely conversation as she shared her children’s achievements in the musical world. She will always be remembered as someone strong and a mother full of pride of her family. May you all continue to do so.
Love
Diksha and Nandi Masi
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Alf and Sharon Wiebe Our condolences to Peter and the whole family.
A fond recollection – as a new member of the Victoria Philharmonic Choir, at Peter’s lovely home for a Christmas party I sat down beside a very engaging lady who asked about my interest in and experience with the choir. I expounded at some length about how pleased I was to sing for such a wonderful director as Peter. It was only after further questioning about her son’s attributes, that she finally confessed with a chuckle to being his mum.
May she stay as fondly in your hearts.
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Justin Williams We are deeply sorry for your loss. She sounds an amazing individual who led a wonderful life. Please accept our deepest condolences.
Justin, Natalka, Tiernan, Shale and Isabella Williams
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Barbara Stewart To Peter and all the family, so sorry for your loss and thank you for the brief opportunities we in the VPC family have had over the years to get to know your mum and the wonderful family she’s created.
Our sympathies.
Barbara
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Ron Klizs and Cathie Dias We are sad to hear the news of Sybil’s passing.
Your obituary described her beautifully.
If you ever met her, you would never forget!
We would love to have a toast with you to celebrate her life.
Sending all of you much love.
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Deirdre Whoever wrote this dazzling farewell to Sybil deserves an award. And of course Sybil is/was worthy of such a tribute. May she Rest In Peace. Condolences to her sons and their families. Love, from cousin Deirdre
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Suromitra Sanatani Out thoughts are with you, Peter and Gurdeep. Sybil sounds like a fascinating person. What a gift for you both and the rest of the family.
David & Suromitra
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Rachael Bruton Haisell I only met Sybil once and she had a beautifully clear lucidity about her. A natural caring charm as she genuinely connected with those around her. What a blessing to her family who were in her presence for so many years
Somebody like Sybil never leaves really. She will remain dancing in your hearts forever. She would never really leave you.
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Punam Sheldan My dear Peter and Deepa,
I am so sorry to hear about Peter’s mom our condolences. Please take care of yourselves.
When we met Sybil and James Through Cruising Club of America, I found a kindred spirit, and our friendship grew on land and sea, through our common tastes in music and the arts, always family the core of life. Barrie passed five years ago but Sybil and I kept in touch. I hoped to see her one more time, bringing her a copy of my memoirs “Invisible Threads” but found instead that she had written and published her memoirs in 2022! I was inspired by her amazing energy and enthusiasm, and can only imagine how you will miss her. I am so grateful for her warm hospitality and that our paths crossed.