Raghupati Sahai Hitkari

Dear Chritina and Kids and grandkids and family,
We will miss Raghu.
Our memories of playing Kanastha and drinking tea in Saudi Arabia will always be with us.
Your Visit to Miami was beautiful. We had our great memories of your visit.
You are nothing but Light. Goodbye dear friend. May your soul ascend to higher realms. Be joyous knowing you left beautiful family and friends who loved your presence.
Our prayers to the family.
Hugs
Neela and Gopi Chari
our kids Radhika, Sangita and Sean and his family

I posted my tributes to Uncle Raghu on the day he passed away.

Yesterday, our dearest Raghu uncle whom we address as Chunnu Chacha passed away. Chunnu Chacha breathed his last in Victoria, Canada, amidst his family.
Yesterday around 10.30 pm IST, his son Jason called up and said, ‘Raman, dad is no more! I am sorry for your loss!’
Uncle Chunnu’s loss is really a big shock for our family. In fact with his passing away, we have lost an entire generation of our family.

Though he was undergoing treatment in Victoria’s nursing home for almost an year, I was holding on to the hope that when I go to Canada in April, I will get to spend some quality time with him. I couldn’t understand why he kept insisting that I visit him for the past two years. Now I can understand that due to his deteriorating health, he knew that he would not be able to travel to India anymore and thus he wanted us to be with him. I had almost decided to visit him in September 2020 but it got postponed for two and a half years due to the pandemic. However, only a few weeks ago I had started Visa formalities but it could not materialize. I will regret not having seen him during his last days.

We remained in touch even during his stay at the nursing home. We would often talk on phone and when I couldn’t call for a week or so he would call me directly. Not many people understood our course of discussion, our humor, our jokes and grabbing every opportunity to pull each other’s leg! We used to talk endlessly and would say goodbye only when both of us would really get tired of laughing!!

What a beautiful relationship we shared which was no less than father-son’s in any way! One of the reasons for this was that I was the only link in his memories of India with which he could remember his good old days! After the death of my elder brother Suman, my father, my cousin Guddu and then my elder sister Kumkum, I was the only one with whom he would relate India in the way he wanted to. Others were born after he left for Canada in 1967.

It was in 1963 – 64 when the first computer came to the Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur and Chunnu Chacha were among the first batch trained to operate it. I remember a brown colour IIT Kanpur bus came daily at the intersection of our bungalow in McRobertsganj which he would take to travel to his institute. My mother used to pack lunch for him which he used to carry in a steel lunch box. The first computer that came at IIT Kanpur was probably a very basic one. Uncle Chunnu often used to bring sheets/reels of perforated/coded paper which I used to play with by making rolls. He had a Canadian friend Johnson in IIT who used to come often in his imported car. At that time his friends included Basu uncle, Alam, Daleep Kapoor, Singhania and Aditya Uncle. They would visit our home almost every evening. Out of these, uncle Basu was the only one from IIT.

In 1993 I came to see off Uncle Chunnu and Jason in Delhi. We stayed at the Kanishka hotel in Connaught Place. When Uncle Basu came to meet us, he, to my utter surprise, recognized me instantly in the hotel lobby even after almost 25 years. He immediately said, ‘This is Bhai Saheb (they used to address my father as) son, Raman!’ When I asked, ‘How did you recognize me, Uncle Basu?’ He said, ‘You look just like your father!’ What can be a greater pride for a son than this!

Chunnu Chacha was the tallest and had the best physique in our family. He was very fond of gymming. A small corner in our covered verandah served as his gym where all his exercise equipment were kept including a chest expander. I was the only brat in the family allowed in that corner. I would often try his equipment but could never pull the chest expander despite my best efforts.
When I grew up I too grew quite tall and would often tease him that I would grow taller than him in some time. To which he would laughingly say, ‘you may but would never attain my stature!’

We shared a wonderful relationship! My Aunt Christina is Canadian but would always thoroughly enjoy our Indian pranks! Similarly his children would understand the fine nuances of our discussions. Uncle Chunnu and I used to joke about his promises of large heartedness. He always used to say, ‘If you provide good service, you will get amply rewarded (in terms of money)!’. And when I would demand something in lieu of the services rendered, he would say,’ it was not good enough to be paid!’ It was a running joke between us til the very end. I used to often joke with Aunt Christina that, ‘Auntie do you know that your husband is a liar!’ To which aunt Christina would reply, ‘Who knows it better than me! He is a super liar!’ He would very much enjoy all these conversations and say , ‘ I tend to forget ! Keep serving me and reminding me of your good work!’

When I was young, I was fond of collecting coins. Uncle Chunnu would often come to India from many countries and would give me coins from France, Japan, Italy, England etc. Whenever I would brag about my collection, he would jokingly say, ‘All these were stolen from my pocket!’

I am fond of cooking and would always tell him about my new dishes. I would also post pictures on social media. He would always tell me , ‘ you buy these from the restaurant and take photos or Deepika (my wife) makes them and you post them in your name!’ When I insisted it was me who cooked it, he would immediately ask for recipes as proof. To which I would say, ‘ Uncle recipes cost money!’ Aunt Christina used to tell me ‘ Your uncle often laughs in private remembering you!’

Uncle Chunnu had gone to Canada in 1967 to pursue a Masters in Computer Applications at the University of Edmonton. He married my aunt Christina probably in 1969. My aunt has brought up all her children very well. During my uncle’s long hospitalization, all his children took great care of him and in his last time they all stayed by his side.

The night when my father passed away I slept next to him in his room. I wanted him to take his last breath in my arms and that was exactly what happened. I had probably told this to Jason. A day before uncle passed away, Jason sent me a very touching message, ‘ Raman, dad has been unconscious for four-five days. He is breathing but not with us. I slept in his room last night just to be with him!’ Very lucky are those parents who spend their last time with their children! His children are equally fortunate in this way!

Uncle Chunnu has been in Canada for the last 55 years and he was continuously in touch with us. He must have come to India more than 20 times. More than a dozen times with aunt Christina and several times with the whole family! He came to our place five times in Delhi itself – with auntie, with Jason, with Nandini and her family, and with Jason and his family! India and his family always remained close to his heart and I have a feeling that he had some regrets of leaving it! After the death of my father in 2001, uncle Chunnu had become subdued. One could always find a mention of his brother (my father) in his most of his conversations.
He would address his brother (my father) as ‘Chhote Bhai Sahib’. His ‘ Chote Bhai Sahib’ was his ideal, a father figure! His father (my grandfather) passed away when he was only ten years old. His ‘Chote Bhai Sahib’ had brought him up and his other brother like his own children. The kind of regard and reverence his younger brothers had for my father was unmatched!

My twins, Cherry and Gagan would never remember their grandfather as they were only one and half yrs old when he passed away. But they shall always cherish some excellent memories of Chunnu Baba as eldest in the family. We are sure that the tradition of togetherness that uncle Chunnu had always wanted will continue in our family.
Yesterday, when Jason broke the news of uncle Chunnu’s death, he finally said, ‘Raman, dad is not with us now, but we will remain together!’
Goodbye uncle Chunnu!!

Dear Auntie Christina,Nundani,J,Kamini and Shal and families

We are so sorry for your loss and share this moment of grief. Uncle Raghu, our respected and beloved Chunnu chacha, was no less than a father to me. I cherish the memories from our meetings and long discussions on phone. His life always was, and shall forever remain, a source of inspiration for me and rest of Hitkari family in India.

May his Nobel soul rest in peace.

Love , Anurag (Bunty)

Dear Shalini, Jeff, LLeyton, and Lauchlyn,
We are so sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved father, father-in-law, and grandfather. We would also like to extend our heartfelt condolences to Christina and all of the Hitkari family. May your dear dad rest in peace.
Love, Auntie M and Uncle T