Tristan passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Friday, November 26th, 2021 at a favourite resort on the West Coast of Vancouver Island at the age of 74 after complaining of chest pains. Predeceased by parents Clifford and Shirley, brother Cliff Jr and his dear “Aunt Lolly” Lorraine Parman, his mother’s lifelong high school friend.
Survived by his loving husband of 17 years, Daniel and sister Nancy and by long-time and close friends in Victoria and on Grand Manan Island, and in Canada and America. He was raised in Rockville Center, New York and his talent was discovered at the age of 14 by Howard Barlow, conductor of radio & TV’s Firestone Symphony Orchestra.
Tristan entered the Peabody Conservatory of Music at Johns Hopkins where he completed a double major in piano & conducting. It was at Peabody where he received the nickname Tristan because he was dating “Isolde” while he conducted the opera. He studied with Herbert von Karajan at the Akademie des Mozarteum in Salzburg, earning a diploma in conducting. He was invited to enter the Westminster Choir College at Princeton where he earned degrees in composition and piano. During this period, he was also a founding member of the chamber music group Northampton Trio.
Tristan was artist-in-residence and a faculty member at the American Boychoir School before becoming the conductor of Offertorium Musicum Choir. He created the opera workshop at St. Mary’s College in Maryland and where he was the assistant to the college president and member of the piano faculty. As pianist, composer & conductor of National Boychoir of America, he helped bring the ensemble to acclaim while touring internationally.
The ensemble recorded six albums. After retiring from the Boychoir, he conducted the New England Vocal Ensemble, directed music at Episcopal churches, presented music clinics and conducted at music festivals.
While living in California he initiated the Stars & Stripes program with the Santa Rosa Orchestra, Sonoma University, and established a choir at a State Prison. In Victoria he was the organist and choir director at St. John the Divine and at Saints Peter and Paul in Esquimalt.
He met Daniel at a potluck in Metchosin when living in Victoria. He then moved to Delaware to be closer to his dying father. After securing Daniel’s address they began corresponding followed by a return visit to Victoria the following year and a stay at a log cabin near Sooke. A visit by Daniel to Delaware in the Spring of 2003 was followed by Tristan’s move back to Victoria in July and marriage in November. He was passionate about nature and white water rafting.
In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Canadian Red Cross BC Flood & Extreme Weather Appeal https://www.redcross.ca/donate/appeal/donate-to-the-canadian-red-cross-fund
Condolences may be offered to the family below.
McCall Gardens
www.mccallgardens.com
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Robert Byrens
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VALERIE OCONNOR I can not tell you how much I wish to talk to him. Valerie
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James Griffin I knew Tristan in the 1980’s as a great mentor and he really saved my life back then. He provided a great spiritual solice to me and opened new vistas I had never dreamed of for my life’s possibilities. When he went to Canada he didn’t contact me again but I was a little aware of what he was doing. My best to Daniel though we have not met. I could write a book here of his good works, literally there are so many. I know of so many that he helped at great cost to himself and he lost quite a bit of sleep to take care of the needs of others. I can only thank him for his life and ask that God take him and bless him in his eternal home. James Griffin
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Valerie O'Connor When I was in the Navy in Southern Maryland, my spirit was lifted whenever we played music together.
I am sorry for your loss, Daniel, and the world’s loss.
Val and Bill
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John Reynolds & Kathleen Foster Tristan Rhodes, my great mentor, teacher and dearest of friends, passed away in British Columbia on the anniversary of his marriage to his dear Daniel. Tristan was a musical giant, a brilliant creative and one of my favorite people on earth. He was, indeed, joyous music to a troubled world. Kathleen and I will miss him terribly. We cannot believe he is gone. Goodbye old friend. All and only Peace dear brother.
Know we love you Daniel.
John and Kathleen,
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Karen Fast I am so very sorry for your sudden loss, Daniel, and send my heartfelt condolences. Tristan went out of his way to make my work easier when we were for a few years ‘on the same team.’ He even treated me to lunch at the Empress one Thursday noon. I was a ‘fish out of water’ but Tristan’s flair orchestrated a memorable meal. I always assumed our paths would cross again some day. It is my loss that they did not. Peace to you.
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carole sabiston Dear Daniel – I was always enchanted in the loving way that your beloved Tristan looked at each other. Both of you – treasures to each other. Of course our initial connection was through Munro’s Books when my late husband, Jim Munro was so delighted to’discover’a new staffer Dan – a brilliant young man who was literate and had musical knowledge. And along came Tristan–from then on Tristan and Jim had an ongoing dialogue through centuries of organ music, yes, we had two organs at the house. Tristan entertained and educated us spontaneously. Tristan- a unique gift to us all – and what a fabulous smile!
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arleen pare We remember Tristan with great fondness, of course, and send Daniel our deepest sympathy. Tristan will be missed by so many. love – Arleen and Chris xo
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Chris Ranung I had known Tristan (Keith, as he was named back then) since my earliest teenage years, back when we all were growing up in Poughkeepsie, New York. He was a neighbor and close friend to me and my brother, a favored and exceptional student of my mother, with whom he studied piano and music, and a classmate of and soulmate to my dear departed sister Sally. Keith and I lost contact over the many decades after that, as we both metamorphosed in our unique ways (Keith eventually becoming Tristan!), then reconnected maybe ten years ago somehow, magically, when I met my present wife Victoria in St. Augustine, Florida, and we were beginning our journey that soon would lead to marriage. A few years later Daniel and Tristan came to our engagement party. They met our dearest friends there, who all felt a kinship and immediate bond with them. And since then, through our visits here and in Parish, Florida, Tristan – recounting the many years and fascinating experiences of his amazing life and the brilliant friendships and mentors he encountered along the way and the travels to exotic and beautiful lands and the people who filled his life and the memories of and love he felt for my sister and the meeting and courtship and marriage with Daniel and the music always the music effervescing within his soul – touched me in a way for which I was not really prepared at first. Then his and Daniel’s existence quickly became a welcome and integral part of my life – I always felt their presence even when we had not recently talked. Tristan added to my awareness what true spirit and soul and love are all about, and his sheer unbounded happiness in having found Daniel reaffirmed the power of “two-ness” for me in a simple and pure way. Now that he has moved to the next level, his energy and joy continue to fill me up buttercup . . . he will always imbue peace and faith in me through the years I have left in this world. Thank you, my dear friend, for all you gave me. Victoria and I will cherish our friendship with Daniel, and our enduring connection with your spirit, forever.
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Victoria Jackson Ranung McComb I met Tristan almost ten years ago when he visited my house in St Augustine Florida. He was a friend of my future husband and his sister, brother and their mother whom he adored. What I remember so strongly is that the moment I met him I knew he saw me. Not the outside but my spirit. And each time after that first connection I felt such a positive energy in his company. One that made me feel good about myself. There can be no greater gift to a person than that. Since his passing I have spoken to him in the dark of night when I most often feel my weaknesses and he remains present with me. I am so grateful to have had and still have him as a part of my life. His partner Daniel is a special gift to us all as well. I am thankful knowing we will all stay connected in our different ways.
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Peter Hall I am so thankful to God for bringing Tristan to St. Anne’s parish, DE and into my life. His life was not long in years, but the good he accomplished was extraordinary. I have sung under more than a dozen choir directors, but none of them comes close to Tristan for making such a wonderful positive effect on my life as a chorister. It was truly a great joy to be in his choir and to know him as a good friend. He could hear each voice in the choir, and would critique me in a way that rather than being offended, I was grateful for his critique and his advice on how to improve. Tristan made the whole choir as good as it could be, and he made the whole group a delightful place of friendship and joy. Thank you, Tristan, for your life among us. I will always remember you with love and admiration
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Jerry McDonald Tristan was a good friend and colleague. Over the years I had occasion to participate in various musical endeavors with Tristan and always admired his talents. He and Daniel stayed at my home while they were house-hunting – both were enjoyable house guests. They were even fond of Tula, my dog (a requirement for staying at my house). Tristan will be missed. Condolences to Daniel.
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Rebecca My deepest sympathies to Daniel, friends and family. You’re in my thoughts, Dan, as is Tristan. My heart goes out to you. Love,
Becca
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Agnes Stieda I am in a Senior’s home now and so are 3 other people from St. Joh’s the Devine Church in Victoria.. They remember Tristan well . He and I gave concerts together,once I sang a whole Schubert recital which he accompanied.lWe teamed up with a lot of solos during the service .He phoned me a little while ago,and suggested that we should team up again and sing and play for Senior Homes.It was a nice dream which of course never materialized.It was always fun to work with him and at times my friend Kate Rhodes joined us and accompanied us with her wonderful violin playing and singing duets together.. We have to face that dying is a part of living. I think of him as a part of a joyful musical life.
Agnes .
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Peter Allemano In the mid-1970s, I was a member of Offertorium Musicum, the choir for which Tristan served as conductor. Though contact during subsequent years was intermittent — and face-to-face meetings very few — I appreciated the warmth and kindness with which Tristan always treated me. A fine man has departed from the earth far too soon. I send my condolences to Daniel and to all those who were close to Tristan during his final years.
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Stephen Lee So sorry for your loss, Daniel, and for the loss to the music community. Although I was only a recent member of the A-Rovin’ Singers I enjoyed my time with the guys and with Tristan. It was a joy to sing under him and he will be truly missed.
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Jessica What a wonderful career! I’ll always remember being entertained by Tristan at bookstore parties; he was a great storyteller. Love to Dan from the Munro’s family.
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Helen Jones My condolences go to Daniel at this time. We are never ready for the passing of a loved one, especially so suddenly. Tristan was such a vibrant man and will be deeply missed by many.
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Nicole Davey Dearest Daniel, Words can’t express how I feel about this devastating loss. Even though I’ve only known you and Tristan for 2 years, I was deeply touched by your fondness and love for each other. I will always remember our visits in the office and getting to hear Tristan’s amazing experiences and hearing your future travel wishes. He has left a beautiful legacy in this world. If you ever need anything at all Daniel, don’t hesitate to reach out. Big hugs xo
Dear Daniel,
I wanted to reach out to you to share that I studied piano with Tristan at the American Boychoir School in Princeton while a student there in the early 1970’s. He was a gifted teacher and role model to me. I’m sorry to hear of his passing….I just Googled him this evening. I’m so glad that he found you and that you shared 17 years together. I feel very fortunate to be celebrating my 26th year with my husband Jerrod this year. I also feel fortunate to have made a wonderful life as a collaborative pianist and vocal coach. I recently retired from a university in Michigan but still concertize frequently.